so i can skip the part where we say good bye less the tears and fears getting it together, switching gears finding a way to bypass picking up the pieces waiting for when the uncertainty and doubt finally ceases

i wish time would fly by

and i wouldnt know that i cried

that it hurt, that the pain was hard to sustain to a time where i forgot that you were my demise, a wolf in disguise

i wish time would fly by

when i wouldnt remember the trace of your waist or the width of your hips nor how you would smile while biting your lips

i wish time would fly by

to a day where i can say that i dont think about you care about you that i dont love you but time doesnt fly and yesterday you died.

when in actuality you are devastating

Eliminating any hope of me ever loving you

Forcing me to start re-evaluating

Calculating, how fast you’re dilapidating

the very house we built together upon the sand

Cry as i see it float away

Drifting upon the lies of your eyes

And the waste of your taste

The trace of your face

Still leads me down a road that I don’t want to go

You are the bane of my existence

The poison of my garden

 & the Eve of my Atom

After engulfing you in what I knew

Was that pure, genuine kinda love

that fight for you kinda love

that lie for you kinda love

that die for you kinda love

you managed to embellish your intentions

Let me not forget to mention

you never admitting you had no comprension

of what love meant, leaving me in suspension

Hoping

Wishing I could get a whisper of your feelings

My very soul you were stealing

Now that the lids over my eyes have been shed

I realize now that all love is dead

A lie to your heart, fooling you to think love is true

 I was told the truth the day I met you.

WHHAAAAATTTTTT?

It dawned on me that it wasn’t until recently that they introduced sex education into the HS curriculum. For people who are in their late 20s and early 30s know about STDs from either experience, word of mouth, or research. I figured why not educate those who havent had the opportunity to learn why we need to protect ourselves. There are too many myths for us not to know the facts.  Here are 6 STDs that we should be aware of:

HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus)

Symptoms: 

• Headache
• Fatigue
• Swollen lymph glands
• Rash
• Swollen lymph nodes — often one of the first signs of HIV infection
• Diarrhea
• Weight loss
• Fever
• Cough and shortness of breath

Transmission:

The virus can be spread through:

• Artificial insemination with semen from an infected person
• Body fluids including sperm    
• Oral sex

During:

From:

Effects:

• Persistent, unexplained fatigue
• Soaking night sweats
• Shaking chills or fever higher than 100 F (38 C) for several weeks
• Swelling of lymph nodes for more than three months
• Chronic diarrhea
• Persistent headaches

Treatment:  There are medications that can be taken in order to lengthen your life span but there is no said cure.

Cherry says: Ladies, do not believe because we are women that we cannot pass it to other women. There are so many nasty habits that can transmit any of these diseases but this one there is no cure for this one so be extra careful. Save you cooter! GET TESTED!

Herpes

Symptoms:

Transmission:

• Anal sex
• Oral sex
• Vaginal sex
• Kissing
• Skin-to-skin contact which transmits HSV-1 and HSV-2

Effects:

• If a woman with HSV-2 is pregnant, potentially fatal infections in infants can occur.
• People infected with herpes may be more susceptible to HIV infection, and  HIV-infected individuals may be more infectious.

Treatment: Valtrex and other drugs are preventative medications that keep outbreaks to a minimum but there is NO CURE!

Cherry says: There are two types. HSV-1 (oral) and HSV-2 (genital). 1 out of 5 people 12 and older are infected with HSV 2! Thats 20% of the US population! Do you see the pic of that cooter? ^ Do you want that to be YOUR cooter? Fellas, imagine those warts all over your dick…does it look comfortable to you? Think you’ll ever get head again with it looking like that? SAVE THE COOTERS & THE PENIS! WRAP IT UP! Use Saran Wrap, a plastic bag, a sandwich baggie for all i care!

Syphilis

Symptoms:

• Inflammatory lesions on the bones, cardiovascular system, and on the skin
• ulcers on the penis, lips, tongue, vulva, vagina
• a rash of flat, red lesions over the whole body (including the palms of the hands and soles of the feet)
• patchy hair loss

Transmission: Through any broken skin on:

• the anus of a sexual partner
• the genital area
• the mouth

Effects: If left untreated…

Treatment:  Penicillin, usually administered by injection. A person no longer usually transmits syphilis 24 hours after beginning treatment. It can be cured at any of the 4 stages of the disease but usually the damage has been done by the time you reach the later stages.

Cherry says: Another disease that affects more than just your sexual organs. If left alone your brain will become swiss cheese! Mental disorders….just because you were too lazy to put on a hat or use a  dental dam. If you are that lazy just take a trip down to the local clinic and get tested w/ your partner, believe me, its worth it.

Chlamydia

Symptoms:

• Painful urination
• Lower abdominal pain
• Vaginal discharge in women
• Discharge from the penis in men
• Painful sexual intercourse in women
• Testicular pain in men

Effects:

Untreated, Chlamydia can cause serious long and short-term health problems in men and women as well as in newborn babies of infected mothers, including pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which can cause:

• Infertility
• Tubal pregnancy (which can sometimes be fatal)

Treatment: An array of antibiotics, check with your doctor if you are pregnant

Cherry says: For  those of us who like to strap on and men that are going from pussy to pussy but have a wife at home, please use a condom while you’re out there, you could be putting your entire dream of a family on the line.

Gonorrhea

Symptoms:

In 2-10 days, you’ll see:

• Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge from the penis or vagina
• Pain or burning sensation when urinating
• Frequent urination
• Pain during sexual intercourse

Transmission:

Effects:

In Men

Epididymitis

• an inflammation of the testicles that can cause sterility

In Women

Abscesses

Ectopic pregnancy

• a pregnancy outside of the uterus

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)

• an ascending infection that spreads from the vagina and cervix to the uterus and fallopian tubes, which can lead to sterility

Perihepatitis

• an infection around the liver

Sterility

Treatment: Any of the following antibiotics:

Bacterial Vaginosis

Symptoms:

• excessive, thin gray or white vaginal discharge that sticks to the vaginal walls
• fishy or musty, unpleasant vaginal odor, most noticeable after sex
• vaginal itching and irritation

Transmission:

Effects:

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) is thought to be associated with: 

• ectopic (tubal) pregnancy
• infertility (unable to have children)
• low birth weight in infants born to infected mothers
• pelvic infections
• premature birth in infants born to infected mothers

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) increases the risk of acquiring:

• gonorrhea
• HIV infection
• other STDS 

Treatment: Antibiotics either orally or vaginally, changing up your diet to prevent re-infections

Cherry says: The common misconception is that this is NOT sexually transmitted. However, for those of you that like to exchange juices when its hot & heavy, you are taking bacteria from her & inserting it into your cooter! So although it’s not certain that you are going to get the infection, it very well may happen.  Do you like to eat cooter that has a bacterial imbalance? Funky pussy that spurts brown puss instead of that Protect yourself! Protect your cooter!

“I love being in a relationship”

There are pros and cons to both. I have struggled with both.  Now living a complicated single life, being alone is hard to deal with. Coming home to an empty house with only dogs to talk to can be a heartbreaker. However, there are ways to cope! Believe me when I say it, its possible to be content with being single! So here’s my story:

Summer of ’08.  I was at the worst of the worst.  I wasn’t speaking to my family, I had no friends, I didn’t go anywhere, I didn’t party, I wasn’t social.  I was in an unhealthy relationship. Emotional, physical, & mental abuse. My relationship was basically over but we were still living together. Miserable. At some point, we happened to have a new temp in my office, and she striked a mean signal on my gaydar. So I asked. Well not asked, but noticed on her FB that she liked women. My response: Me too! From then on we were just about inseparable. 

After being alone for so long, it was a breath of fresh air.  Nice to know someone enjoyed my company. Nice to know someone cared about how I felt, what I said, and what my future plans were. She introduced me to the party scene. Introduced me to some fashion sense. & taught me how to reel in the ladies   My single life wasn’t so boring anymore. We went out every week. She cooked lunch for me sometimes. She reminded me what friends are for and I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS love her for that because she saved my life.  Unfortunately, she had to return to LA, leaving me alone, STRONGER, but still alone….again.

Sometime in February I started talking to someone…initially for the wrong reason. I just didnt want to be lonely.  Didn’t want to have to say goodnight to my puppies & no one else. We started dating.  I admit I was totally down for this girl & anything she needed me to do was fine EXCEPT tell my mom that I’m gay.

Sidenote: I grew up in a devout Jehovah’s Witness home & for those of you who don’t know the background info on this particular religious group, homosexuality is a gross sin & completely unacceptable. They will disfellowship you…excommunicate you, SHUN YOU! Pretend you no longer exist.

The girl broke up with me because I am not OUT to my mom. Now my siblings know that I like women, & so do my cousins. It’s just my parents that are clueless. My dad, I just never got around to telling him cuz I know he wouldn’t care. Anyway, a few months later, I decided to finally tell my mom at our family meeting. I wanted to go first but she insisted and thats when I found out my mother is terminally ill.  I dont want her last thought of her youngest daughter to be “EWW GROSS”. So I decided to never tell her. About a week later, my ex came around, with the whole “I’m sorry” bit & I said its cool but she was going to have to start all over again. You can’t just let me go and get me back that easy.

She ended up doing some grimy shit during Pride (another blog for another time) and after that I was through with relationships.

I should have slowed my roll after my first unhealthy relationship & just took a break. A time to let myself heal but I didnt….

….and this is why I am still single….

I want to give myself that opportunity to grow alone. To teach myself somethings. Decide what it is that I really want and need in my life.  YOU HAVE TO DO THAT ALONE! With out the stress and worries of making someone else in your life happy. MAKE YOU HAPPY first.  YOU are your #1 priority. At the end of the day, the only one you have to face is yourself. I had to learn it the hard way. Although, I may rant & rave about sexual things on Twitter or DL, I am content with being single.

KEYS TO BEING SINGLE:

1.  PRAY! God will help you if you honestly want the help.
2.  Surround yourself with positive people
3.  Date! – Go out have fun, dance, eat, laugh BUT DO NOT HAVE SEX W/ UR DATE!! It will ruin everything!
4. Pick up a hobby. Something that makes you smile. I crochet.
5. Take care of yourself. Go on vacation. Get facials & massages.
6. Always look for an area of your life that you feel you can improve in. Work on bettering yourself. Maybe take a class. Workout. Learn a new trade.
7. Have a go-to person that you know you can always vent to. Someone who won’t judge you but just listen.
8. Network – Yes network when you are single. It can open up so many doors for you & it’ll keep you busy.

Thanks to Twitter, I meet people. I’ve become social. I have traveled out of NY State alone! I am standing on my own two feet and I am damn proud of it. For those of you who are struggling with being single, go out! Have fun! Enjoy life! You don’t NEED someone in your life to make you happy. All you need is you…..& a handy dandy vibrator.

~~Mizz Cherry Amor

As my heart seems to beat faster

Faster and harder as it beats out of my chest

falling into your hands, my mind feeling pressed

Pressed to confess

My thoughts are a mess

While my body’s at unrest

Tell me this sandstorm can’t erode away my skin

Faintly uncovering my scandalous life of sin

My feelings have tornadoed uncontrollably

Causing the seismic ending of a period of my life undoubtedly

Ending the reverence that I have for love

Unleashing what I am not innocent of

I laugh at the skies, because they are the loveliest shade of gray

Your tsunami flooded my life, fighting to keep you at bay

At arms length away

I had to keep you

HAVE to keep you

So that my volcano of emotions doesn’t overflow

Causing her to go

To run

To flee

To flee me

To flee me to run after thee

Can’t help but feel that this blizzard may blow in and take apart

Take apart, dismantle and send in shambles what very little is left of my heart

My heart…no my soul

Has a famine of beautificalities

When in actuality, matter of factly

I can exude what it is that you need from me

But only while denying myself the luxury of seeing who I should be

And as my volcano erupts and the gaseous sky turns black

I wonder if I’ll be the one to keep running or actually turn back

Turning into the pillar of salt, returning to what im trying to escape

Escape the fear that my soul you’ll rape

Tainting me

Taking me

Saving me from danger, away from the blizzard, away from the ashes

Capitulating that what I feel always passes

And as this world crumbles under the conditions that were met

I figured, why cry, why pout, why wonder, why fret

For I realized, while my heart beats out of my chest

I cant escape you, can’t run any faster

No Love, no Love

For you, yes you

Are the epitome of natural disaster.

Yes indeedy, these are the things we do alone behind closed doors.  What I don’t understand is why people try to fake the funk like they don’t do it? I’ve had people argue with me tooth & nail that they have never touched themselves.  Are you not interested in your own body and what it can do?  I am quite interested in my body & what it can do.  How far can I stretch? If I turn my vibrator at this angle will it hit the spot better? If I rotate the Pocket Rocket in a counterclockwise motion will it make my clit more or less sensitive to the vibrations?  These are things to think about! No one can really please you till you know how you want it (unless you spend hours in bed while someone blindly tries to make you orgasm but has not a clue on how your body works cuz you dont know yourself)

A common misconception is that masturbation is harmful.  I’ve been doing it for 12 years and aint shit happen to me. But are there long-term effects? Are there benefits? According to Wikipedia there are…

It is held in many mental health circles that masturbation can relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-worth.[37] Masturbation can also be particularly useful in relationships where one partner wants more sex than the other – in which case masturbation provides a balancing effect and thus a more harmonious relationship.[38]

Mutual masturbation, the act by which two or more partners stimulate themselves in the presence of each other, allows a couple to reveal the “map to [their] pleasure centers”. By watching a partner masturbate, one finds out the methods they use to please him- or herself, allowing each partner to learn exactly how the other enjoys being touched. Intercourse, by itself, is often inconvenient or impractical at times to provide sufficient sexual release for many people. Mutual masturbation allows couples to enjoy each other and obtain sexual release as often as they need but without the inconveniences and risks associated with sex.

Sounds good huh? Well here is the harm in it…

Compulsive masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors, is a sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed by a mental health specialist.

So basically there is no harm….but there are techniques! That will be discussed in a future blog…along with a bunch of toys that can help in your sexual quest.

Now be truthful….Take Our Poll

My experience with women began when I was about 6. I was always very interested in the anatomy of  pussy.  I used to have nap time and feel down the other girls pants, I was a real perv. When I was 10, I began masturbating. I actually saw it on a Playboy episode (using my bootleg cable) and figured why not try it! & so my obsession with masturbation began.  By the time I reached high school, I had pretty much mastered it & also started getting heavy into the ladies.

At 15, I had sex w. a girl for the first time!  It was more like a challenge.  An ex of mine told me that he could eat pussy better than me.  Little did he know I had been waiting for this moment for years.  The girl didnt even know what hit her. However, for some reason, I didnt want the favor returned. It wasn’t necessary. I can go home & take care of it myself.

So now years later, that is still the way I feel. I am quite satisfied with just being the one to satisfy.  There is no need for anyone to be in between my legs. FOR WHAT?!?! You can’t do it better than me! (My motto: Can’t nobody give you a better orgasm than yourself)  Coupled with my extreme nervousness, I haven’t really had a good sexual experience w. someone being between my legs. I know most of you are like “you should at least try it”……well…. I did.

The first time I let a girl between my legs I thought I was prepared. She was my first girlfriend. I’d messed w/ girls but no1 ever actually asked me out. She was the first. I had a fat L rolled up & waiting and a bottle of Henny right next to it.  I would think that would be enough to calm me down; I thought wrong.   Aside from the whole thing being totally unromantic (hotel room, no kissing just straight to the business), I was so nervous that my legs must have trembled so bad that I looked like I was seizing.  The whole experience was just really a blur & not really memorable. 

Now I just want to get my grub on and go home, get my toy box & get to work hunni! YES.  How do you guys feel about femme touch-me-nots? I always hear  

Don’t worry baby. I can make you comfortable…

Negatory

You can’t because I’m quite comfortable with myself. In addition, I’m on a one year hiatus from sexual intercourse.  Granted I get two passes for the year, I am well into month #5, and doing quite well.  Celibacy rocks! Anyways enough of my ramblings, back to work!